The Real Heero Yuy
by Knight of Fire Heero Yuy
Summary: It's Heero's(Me) version of The Real Slim Shady. VERY funny! It even made Trowa laugh! Rated R for bad cussing! Please R&R!


THE REAL HEERO YUY  
  
Author's/Disclaimer's note: I dun own Heero Yuy, The Real Slim Shady, nor Gundam Wing even though wish I did!!! So dun sue me cause I have my ways of finding or replacing the gun Relena is hiding from me!!! Got it!!! Now while you read this fanfic I'm going to go chase down a braided baka for stealing all my Gundam parts!!!  
  
  
Heero: ~Runs in~ Everyone sit your asses down and listen to me sing.  
  
Relena: O...k...  
  
Duo: ~Falls to the floor laughing~ Heero?! Sing?! That's a new one! Hahaha!!  
  
Wufei: ~Glares at Heero~ Sing whatever you're going to sing and get it over with Yuy.  
  
Trowa: ~silent~  
  
Quatre: ~smiles~ Go ahead and let's hear it Heero.  
  
Hilde: ~kicks Duo in the side~ Duo! Get your ass up outta the floor and respect the perfect soldier!  
  
Duo: Me?! Respect Heero?!! Heero isn't even a perfect soldier!! No one in this world is perfect!!!  
  
Dorothy: ~runs up behind Quatre with roses~ Oh Quatre!!!   
  
Quatre: Huh? Uh oh...  
  
Midi: Trowa when will you ever talk?!  
  
Sally: ~has just drank a Mountain Dew and is al hyper like~ Hehehehehe!! ~pulls the rubber band outta Wufei's hair~  
  
Wufei: PO!   
  
Sally: ~runs away giggling all like~  
  
Wufei: Come back here Sally Po!!!!  
  
Heero: ~takes out his gun and points it in the air and fires it 3 or 4 times to get everyone's attention~  
  
Everyone (-Heero): ~sits down quickly eyes widen with attention~  
  
Heero: That's much better.  
  
~music starts~  
  
Heero: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Heero Yuy please stand up? I repeat. Will the real Heero Yuy please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here.  
Ya'll act like ya'll ain't never seen a perfect soldier before. Shootin all the OZ soliders like Chang Wufei killin Treize.  
  
Wufei: WHAT?!  
  
Heero: He started whippin his ass just like before. He killed him in the war throwin his mobile suit all over in space. Ahhh! It's the return of the..Aw wait no wait. You're kiddin he just didn't say what I think he did. Did he? And Dr. J said...Nothin you bakas! Dr. J's dead he's locked in my MS base!   
  
Duo: Haha!  
  
Heero: And all these OZ women love Heero Yuy. Sick of, sick of, sick of Heero Yuy I'm sick of him! Look at him walkin around grabbin his you know what gun! Shootin at you know who!  
  
Relena: Yeah! But he's so hot though!  
  
Heero: Yeah I probably gotta couple of screws up in my head loose, but no worse than what happens when I get into Wing Zero. Cause sometime I wanna get on t.v. and just let loose, but I can't, but it's cool for Duo Maxwell to go pay the women in the strip clubs! My Zero's on ya ass. My Zero's on ya ass and if I'm lucky it might give ya a little blast! And that's the message we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a self destruct button is. But of course they gonna get one of my coarses by the time they reach first grade they got they own mobile suit don't they? We ain't nothin but mammals! Well some us cannibles who cut other people open like mobile suits. But if we can kill then animals and mobile suits then there no reason that Relena and I can't elope! But if you feel like I feel you got the antidote. Relena's got her pannyhose. OZ women here we go!  
  
Relena: ~O.O~  
  
Heero: I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up. Well Duo said you gotta cuss in ya mobile suit to get attention. Well I know so fuck him and fuck you too. You think I give a damn about Milly? Half of your soliders can't even stomache you! Let alone Noiny! But Yuy what if you win?! Would it be weird? Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here so you can sit me here next to Zechs Marquise. Yo that Treize Kushrenada better switch me chairs! So I can sit next to Duo Baka and Chang Woofy and listen to them argue who he gave a glare at first. Muthafucker put me full blast on Gundam Wing. Yeah he's cool but I think he married to Relena. Hehe! I should download an audio on mp3 and show the whole colonies how you gave Heero Yuy zero three! I'm sick of you little sailors and senshi! All you do is annoy me! So I have been sent here to destroy you! And there's a million of us just like me! Who cuss like me! Who just don't give a fuck like me! Dress like me! Walk, talk, and act like me! It just might be the next best thing! But it's not quite me! ~Looks at Wufei~  
  
Wufei: I do not act like you Yuy!  
  
Heero: Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! I'm like a mobile suit to listen to! Cause I'm only given you things you joke about with the pilots in Quatre's livin room! The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of all ya'll and by now ya'll all gotta be ready to fall out while callin it off! I just get in the suit and shoot it! And wether you like to admit it I just shit it better than ninety percent of you people out there. Then you wander how these kids blow up mobile suits like ragged dolls. It's funny! Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty! I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirtin! Pinchin nurse's asses I'm jackin off and jerkin! Said I'm jerkin, but this whole bag of viagra isn't workin! And every single person is a Heero Yuy lurkin! Could be working at Burger King spittin on ya onion rings! Or in the parkin lot circling screamin I don't give a fuck with his windows down and his system up! So will the real Yuy please stand up! And put both of those guns in each hand up! Be proud and outta you mind! And outta control and one more time! Loud as you can! How does it go?! I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Cause I'm Heero Yuy! Yes I'm the real Yuy! All you other dibojshinis are just immitating! So won't the real Heero Yuy please stand up please stand up please stand up! Haha. Guess there's a Heero Yuy in all of us. Fuck it. Let's all stand up.   
  
~music ends~  
  
Quatre: Ok...That's not what I was expecting...  
  
Relena: I haven't heard Heero cuss that much since the war.  
  
Hilde: Duo I think you were right.   
  
Duo: ~is rolling on the floor laughing~  
  
Sally: Sing it again! Sing it again!  
  
Wufei: NO! Shut up Po! Hey and I want my rubber band back!  
  
Midi: ~is silent like Trowa~  
  
Trowa: ~is actually laughing~  
  
Dorothy: That was wonderful! That's my kind of song!  
  
Heero: Everyone who is laughing! If you don't shut up I'll shoot you all!!!  
  
~Everyone shuts up~  
  
  
  
  
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! ~Stands up~ I'm the real Heero Yuy!!!!!! HAHAHA! Just read and review and forget about it! Forget about only if you want! ~Knight of Fire, Heero Yuy~ 


End file.
